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What is The Universe?
basically very expensive day care for young adults
mum: have fun at university son,and don't forget your lunch
and i don't want you playing with that john kid he's a bad influence on you. son: yes mum, can i go round and play at sam's after my class's finish . mum: yes but be home in time for dinner.
The Universe - video
The Universe - what is it?
All there is.
This is a flexable term, which once was used for what we now call the solar system. Later, it was used for what we call the Milky Way. Now it is used for the sum total of all the galaxies, of which appears to be about ten billion of them.
The more we learn, the larger our universe seems to get.
What does "The Universe" mean?
A big booze off which leaves you in debt and almost jobless.
Hey mom I'm going to university
mom: Don't get too drunk sweetheart
The Universe - what does it mean?
Once a mechanism whereby smart people could raise themselves above humble beginnings and obtain a worthwhile qualification indicating a high probability of being employable. Now a complete con to get kids with high hopes into insurmountable amounts of debt before they even think about buying a house.. then they discover that the job they trained for was entirely fictitious, and they'll have to take any job they can get. At this point, they realise they should have gone into benefit fraud and drug dealing like all their "stupid" friends, who now have houses, cars and big screen TVs.
John always did well in his school classes, and did three A-Levels and got good grades. He went to uni for three years which put him about £30,000 in debt. When he finished his course he found that his degree counted for very little, since he had no experience and the other 400 job applicants also had degrees. He took a job as a sales rep with Coca-Cola, but got fired when he went to an interview for a better job. Meanwhile the cost of living rose exponentially, and by the age of 24, John's debts stood at around £45,000. This was before he even got a mortgage. A couple of years afterwards he divorced his wife on the grounds of infidelity, but she got custody of the kids, and now he doesn't even get to see them despite paying atrocious amounts of child support. Welcome to Blair's Britain.
The Universe - meaning
possibly the BIGGEST mistake ever made period!
Hitchhiker's Guide: In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
The Universe - definition
Some stupid and useless plane of existence wherein many stupid and useless organisms dwell peacefully, stupidly, and uselessly.
"Isn't it so wonderful to live in this Universe?" -a stupid and useless member of the Universe
The Universe - slang
An everlasting expanse containing everything that will ever exist. No matter how fast and far you travel you will never reach an edge, too mindboggling to understand and even if it was ever possible to comprehend an infinite expanse for even a split second your head would instantly explode from the infinite amount of information in your brain...
Kid: Hey sir, how long does the universe go on for?
Teacher: son, we'll simply never know... our brains simply cannot comprehend infinity, the sense of a never ending amount of space that goes on forever.
The Universe
Some information to help you live in it.
1. Area: infinite.
2. Imports: none.
It is impossible to import things into an infinite area, there being no outside to import things from.
3. Exports: none.
See Imports.
4. Population: none.
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
5. Art: none.
The function of art is to hold the mirror up to nature, and there simply isn’t a mirror big enough – see point one.
6. Sex: none.
Well, in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, art, or anything else that might keep all the nonexistent people of the Universe occupied.
Definition of Infinite
The Universe is infinite. Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow that's big," time. Infinity is just so big that, by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.
The Universe
Everything there is, at least by peons that don't know any better.
The Universe is relative... to the creatures that live in it, it's everything, but to the people who create them it's just another task that has to be maintained every couple thousand years.
I think the Universe we humans live in is really a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. I think it was created by some advanced, but very fallible, students using futuristic technology. To us these students are our Gods. To their professors they are total smegheads and gits, always causing trouble.
Two Gods are taking a leak in the restroom....
God #1: So how is The Universe going?
God #2: My professor thinks I'm going to have to flood the damn thing and start over from scratch. The DNA is just so corrupted from so much inbreeding.
I *knew* I should have added "Thou shalt not do thy brothers and sisters" to my list of commandments. How about yours?
God #1: Well I already tried the flood thing... plus I sent down massive earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and the like... and many of them STILL won't acknowledge my existence!
I think maybe if I send down that Messiah I promised to that git early on, it might help.
God #2: I wouldn't hold your breath on the Messiah thing. I mean it MIGHT work... in about 2000 years or so.
The Universe
A series of inside jokes and mistakes made by God in an attempt to impress his drinking buddies on a Saturday in late August. Hence the five day work week and the platypus.
Dude 1: Hey, you want to hear a joke?
Dude 2: Sure, why not.
Dude 1: The Universe!!!!