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What is Telford?
I am from telford, and i am a girl, but i am not a telford girl. Telford girls can often be referred to as 'townies' or 'chavs' and are the scum of the earth.
They like to set fire to school toilets, and have their hair gelled into a ponytail so tightly that if the bobble found out the hair would still be in the same place.
"I hate those telford girls, they just burnt down the school toilets again"
Telford - meme gif
Telford - video
Telford - what is it?
Also know as the Telly telly mon mons, this elusive beast has a mono-brow the size of Wales which is also his homeland.
He enjoys going out on a Wednesday night and drinking 2litres of Strongbow and getting fkd up, then going home at 1am and talking about his feelings.
Exaple 1:
Guy 1: Did you see someone let that Wookie into the Su tonight?
Guy 2: Oh no that was just the Telford Monner
Example 2:
" I went down on a girl last night, I swear she was so hairy she could of been the Telford Monner!
What does "Telford" mean?
The act of inserting cheesecake of any kind in to a woman's vagina and eating it out the practice started and was popularized in Telford England.
Bobby had to choose between sex or desert so he choose both by having a Telford cheesecake.
Telford - what does it mean?
A very small town.
yet seems to have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the whole of Europe.
Me: Ha you live in Telford! Did you know it has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Europe?
Sarah: yeah but it's right next to Wolverhampton which is probably second.
Me: so.
Telford - meaning
a town with a average of 150 thousand people living there in the west midlands of england. many newspaper reports called it the chav capital of the world but there is hundreds of emos around aswell outside the telford courts. a very up-coming town that is always being developed every day. if you walk through certain parts of the town like woodside, randlay, dawley, malinslee and many more and look the wron way at a bunch of chavs you are likley to get stabbed!!
i hate telford its like the chav capital of the world!
Telford - definition
Student accommodation of loughborough university, most well known for it's sub standard living conditions and unfunny, unsociable inhabitants.
What do we think of Telford? Shit. What do we think of shit? Telford.
Telford - slang
An absolute shithole, home to the worst crime in the UK, drugs, police raids, and being an absolute crap den shithole.
Person 1: You live in Telford?
Person 2: Yes
Person 1: Lol fuck off criminal
Telford
A town in the west midlands full of drugged up freaks and paedophiles. All
Places like woodside, malinslee, dawley, randlay and many more are full of chavs that will rob 3 pound to get a pack of fags.
Seen a lady smacked up on cocaine playing the bongos in the middle of telford
Telford
A New Town in Shropshire England.
Unemployed: 180,000, all of which are alcoholic or on drugs of some kind.
Employed: 20,000, most of which work for Social Services or the Job Centre.
Adult mentality is that of the average cocker spaniel, have little aspirations in life apart from which house is next on their "rob list".
Knifepoint muggings at cashpoints and gang war is rife. There's also an unusually high population of rapists and underage sex traffickers.
Pubs are filled with Football louts snorting coke off the tables and start riots outside clubs so large that it warrants the nearby Military Base to control the situation.
North Telford called Wellington is packed with Goths, most go to TCAT College but tend to just cut themselves while hiding in the toilets. Not many students finish their Government paid college term either.
Town Centre closes at 5pm. Yes, the “centre” of the town is inaccessible after 5pm, apart from Sundays, when it closes even earlier.
Jobs in the area range from factory line worker to factory floor-sweeper but with the 3 industrial estates in the area left abandoned, all that's left really is Agency work who often only find factory line worker jobs that last for around 3 days then it's back on Job Seekers again, usually the Agency jobs found are out in Coventry.
Telford does have the world famous Iron Bridge, nice for a daytrip... but after dark it becomes an area that reminds you of the Will Smith film “I Am Legend”.
Welcome to Telford, where the streets are paved with dog shit.
Telford
Telford was developed in the 1970s as a 'New Town'.
Keen not to repeat all the errors that made other new towns such dreary crime ridden dumps, such as Milton Keynes or Stevenage, Telford Development Corporation came up with some new and refreshing mistakes all of their own, making Telford possible the biggest planning disaster in the whole UK.
In addition to being the chav capital of the UK, it has the world's largest Primark store, the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the solar system and has only about 30% of the population in employment. These are all Polish.
It does have some good features. Every year without fail it wins the league table of 'The Most Godless City In The World' (True) having lowest rate of Christian Church attendance in the known universe, even beating Tehran.
Telford: Chav Capital, 'Most Godless City In The World' winner 1999 to 2011, dump.