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What is Soccer Moms?
A middle aged woman who is still trying to be the prep they were when they were kids. They try to hide everything from their "beautiful precious children" and anything that isn't christian is satanic. The children are not allowed to be individual, oh goodness no!!! And of course, they have big honkin' SUVs. And they wear sweatpants. Oh. My. Gosh.
Me: *listening to Nirvana*
Soccer Mom: Please turn that atrocious music down, there are CHILDREN present!!!
Me: *turns it up*
Soccer Mom: OMYGOSH HOW DARE YOU, MY CHILD IS CORRUPTED BY YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE and did you know that my child is an honor student??
Me: *turns up music some more* Shut up bitch.
Soccer Moms - video
Soccer Moms - what is it?
A horrible phenomenom which begun taking over middle class America in the mid-90's.
Still fixing lunches for 16 year old Bratty Tammy and her soccer-playing suburban brother Aiden? Then you're a soccer mom.Die.
What does "Soccer Moms" mean?
A middle-aged, overprotective woman, usually the mother of two children with names like Britney, Brandon, Caitlyn, Austin, etc. She is usually blonde (often bleached) and has average to above average looks (the latter usually being also a "trophy wife").
She lives in the suburbs, doesn't work (may become an obnoxious realtor after the kids go off to college), and spends an inordinate amount of time at her kids' schools, usually to the chagrin of the teachers and/or administrators.
She is the reason, and the ONLY reason, why Kids Bop has a market because she wouldn't dare let her precious children listen to the actual versions of Top 40 radio.
She drives a gas guzzeling SUV embossed with soccer decals on the rear window. If her husband is particularly successful (usually an overpaid attorney), she drives the higher end version of said SUV (such as the GMC Denali or a Lexus RX 330) so as to show all the more middle income SMs that she is just a bit better than they are.
The soccer mom popped Kids Bop 6 into her cd player to entertain her daughter, Britney, while driving her to gymnastics. After dropping Britney off, she sped to her nail appointment. Her husband, Jeff, later met her at the Country Club after he finished playing a round of golf with his buddies from the firm.
Meanwhile their son, Brandon, who had been busy applying to several colleges, was taking a break by fucking his girlfriend in his parent's hot tub.
Soccer Moms - what does it mean?
Usually rich or upper middle class white women. Married to husbands that have no role in raising their children and leave that to them. They tend to drive mini vans or large SUVS. They have no other role then to drive kids to private school, soccer practice, violen lessons, drama class, yoga for kids, summer camp and the mall. They can be easily spoted with the "my kid is honor student" bumper sticker and four kids jumping around. Mother is always on the cell phone and in the process cuts people off.
They are loud and annoying at games because they think they know more than the coach.
Soccer Mom - Why isn't my little Kevin playing?
Coach - Because your kid sucks at soccer
Soccer Mom - Kevin is going to be the next David Beckham, you just watch.
Coach - Whatever bitch, step off of the field.
Soccer Moms - meaning
The most despicable species of woman known to humankind.
Soccer Mom is aged 30 to 50 years and can always be found in Havertown, PA. She lives in an overrated neighborhood which in all honesty looks like lower-middle-class suburban Philadelphia on a good day.
She drives either a minivan or an SUV, which she needs to cart around her 2.3 kids, who are as obnoxious as all get out. In addition to soccer, the little darlings also particiate in karate, ballet, basketball, hockey, etc. They are never disciplined because soccer mom fervently believes they are perfect in all ways.
She's married to Mr. Corporate America. He's usually burnt out because he's forced to work 60+ hours every week in order to pay the sky-high mortgage, two car payments, private school tuitions, fees for the kids' activities, and the bills for Soccer Mom's profligate spending. He therefore needs to blow off steam by either screwing random secretary sluts or by spending his lunch hours at the local titty bar. Soccer mom either doesn't know this or doesn't want to.
Soccer Mom has no life outside her children and their activities. During the day when the kids are in school, she can be found trolling the local shopping mall and maxing out hubby's credit card buying stuff she doesn't need at the Bombay Company. She also is forced into the mall during the day as a way of killing time until the Merry Maids are finished cleaning the house.
Soccer Mom's musical preferences are Celine Dion and Faith Hill. She can't blast a Celine Dion CD in someone's presence without launching into her nauseating story of how she and hubby danced their wedding dance to "My Heart Will Go On," and how perfectly the song epitomizes her feelings for him. Sigh.
Soccer Mom sees any woman who's reasonably attractive and within 10 lbs. of her ideal body weight as a threat and a slut with the potential to seduce hubby. As if any woman would want his flabby ass!
Soccer Mom also has a rabid tendency to keep up with the Joneses.
All things considered, someone to avoid.
"Look out for the runaway minivan driven by the soccer mom!"
"The parking lot was crammed with soccer moms dropping their kids off to practice."
Soccer Moms - definition
1. The downfall of human society
2. The only people who have no real purpose in life other than to pick up there children from school, take them to an after school program, (Karate,Soccer,Baseball, Football)and to be the trophy wife of a husband that hardly spends time with his kids. Often seen trying to blend in, but stands out like a sore thumb. Usually seen driving a huge ass SUV and is proud that their child is a slave to pop culture and won't think for themselves. They are allowed to bring their bratty ass kids anywhere, but if you are in line with a box of condoms (trying not to make the same mistake they made) they have the balls to make faces and make stupid ass remarks. They also think that their "little angels" wouldn't make any of the same mistakes they made. Even though they act like there the boss, they don't run sh!t.
Man in Line: *Buying condoms*
Soccer Mom: *Laughing* What do you need those for, you're pretty young.
Man in Line:Ease up out of my face, bitch
Soccer Mom: Don't talk use that language in front of my kids!*Covering kids ears*
The soccer mom goes home to find her oldest daughter having an orgy with three guys, two girls, and a goat.
Soccer Moms - slang
A usually white, middle-classed woman. She drives an SUV. Her kids are her "little angels" and are more important than anything or anyone else in the world and deserve to play game demos or do anything else more than everyone. She doesn't let her "little angels" watch TV with "naughty words" such as crap, pussywillow, and pants. Her kids aren't allowed to go on the internet because it's all about sex, raping little children, buying useless crap, and getting scammed. She strictly enforces the ESRB ratings systems; by that I mean makes up her own: EC = 10 and under, E = 11 and up, T and above = "Not in my house" (Movies: PG and under = Only movies you can see). Anything that doesn't say they're Christian is automatically Satanic; this includes 99.998% of music. Her children participate in as many after-school activities as possible and are usually at day camp during the summer.
Soccer moms are usually seen screaming at people, getting into car accidents, and breaking copies of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and refusing to pay for them.
I hate soccer moms
Soccer Moms
A white middle or upper-middle class woman in her mid-20's to mid-40's with the following characteristics:
1. Her children usually have names like Zachary, Tyler, Kaitlin, Hannah, Hailey, or Dylan
2. Husband is a rather bland person that works as a family practice doctor, attorney, computers, selling pharmaceuticals, or other office drone.
3. Her children are always enrolled in at least 2 activities such as ballet, hockey, skiing, softball, and of course, soccer.
4. Favorite hobbies that don't involve her kids usually include drinking Starbucks, shopping at Kohl's or Old Navy, or gossiping with friends
5. Favorite restaurants are usually Chik-Fil- A, Taco Bell, Red Robin, and Chili's
6. Religious preference is usually Southern Baptist or Nondenominational Megachurch
7. They live primarily in California, Texas, Florida, Atlanta, D.C., Colorado, or Arizona suburbs
8. Vehicles driven are usually mid or large SUV's, Suburban's, or hatchbacks
9. Her children are either home schooled or attend a private or charter school
10. Her children are not allowed to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies, play any video games not rated E, play outside unattended, browse the internet without parental controls, or have contact with any adults outside of family, teachers, or coaches
Soccer mom
Soccer Moms
They're are the reason for car crashes , global warming , teenyboppers , frat boys/girls , they mostly stay at home waiting to pick up their "angels" for what dumbass activity their brats are doing , or annoying the crap out some sane person , or causing car wrecks in the air-polluting SUVs , they hate anything that is non Christian (despite being spawns of Satan) , internet , freedom , minorities , anything that will "corrupt" their "precious little angels" , they keep their children away from anything that will make them individual. They also hate gamers and anime fans
Me : *Listening to Melanie Martinez*
Soccer Mom: HEY ! YOUNG LADY QUIT LISTENING TO THAT SATANIC GARAGE YOUR LISTENING TO , YOU ARE CORRUPTING MY BABY
Soccer Mom's kid : *smoking weed behind his mother's back*
Me : You're not my mom
Soccer Mom: THEN I'M GONNA TELL HER
Me : Fine
Soccer Bitch tell my mom
Soccer Mom : Hey your child is listening to this Melanie Martinez
My Mom : So what ?
Soccer Mom: WTF ! YOU SHOULD PUNISH HER FOR LISTENING TO THE DEVIL'S MUSIC
My Mom : *walks away from crazy Soccer Mom *
My Mom: Don't worry *insert name* , hopefully she and her brat will die in a car wreck
And this why soccer moms are pure evil
Soccer Moms
A bunch of repressive, middle to upper-class bitches. They always live in those Suburban neighborhoods, they are almost always a conservative republican, or conservative democrat. Soccer Moms are the reason for all of the useless censorship rules. They are snotty, rude, arrogant, and bitchy. They usually drive huge-ass SUVS, which they load their "precious, adorable, awesome, and better than everyone else" brat kids into every weekday for some kind of sport. A soccer-mom basically lives through her kids, she has them out doing all of the things she wanted to do as a kid. Her husband is never home, because his wife is such a repressive bitch, and won't have sex with him because she's afraid the kids will here them. Thus, he screws his secretary. A Soccer Mom will not allow her kids to watch any movies over the rating PG. She usually is involved with PTA meetings, and does snack days, is selective with who her kids can be around, and who they can't.
Soccer Moms fail.