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What is Robert the Bruce?The first Australian King of Scotland,No seriously he was a bad ass mother, who eventually took his head from out his own ass,and inspired by William Wallace(an even badder mother)and an unnamed spider! decided to kick the shit out the English HOORAY!!(Huge Roar From All Over The World Except England) Defeating Edward II of England ,Secured Scotlands Independence at the battle of Bannockburn 1314.Sadly many modern Scots forget this and like to keep voting for the Westminster based Labour Party or LibDems and some even Defy Logic Still and like the Tories.So all in all King Robert's Heroic Efforts were Sadly in vain! English Troops:Run Lads It's Robert The Bruce We are Doomed! Robert the Bruce - videoRobert the Bruce - what is it?The first Australian King of Scotlandno seriously he was a bad ass mother, who eventually took his head from out his own ass,and inspired by William Wallace(an even badder mother)and an unnamed spider! decided to kick the shit out the EnglishFags! HOORAY!!(Huge Roar From All Over The World Except England)Secured Scotlands Independence at the battle of Bannockburn1314.Sadly many modern Scots forget this and like to keep voting for the Westminster based Labour Partyor LibDems and some even Defy Logic Still and like the Tories.So all in all King Robert's Heroic Efforts were Sadly in vain! English Troops:Run Lads It's Robert The Bruce We are Doomed! Never mind chaps we will have those scotch twats in our pockets 700 years from now HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (Evil Grin) What does "Robert the Bruce" mean?Robert the Bruce was allowed to be King of Scotland after apologising to Mel Gibson for trying to kill him as a sort of witty joke. Encouraged by an encounter with a spider on the Isle of Arran, he burned his bannocks or "boxer shorts" in front of the English Army, and proceeded to slaughter them because of his ingenious rules of battle (whereby anyone who correctly guessed their enemy's nationality was allowed "free hits"). Robert the Bruce... Also see giggles and John Robinson Robert the Bruce - what does it mean?Although he started his military career fighting for the English at the behest of his father, Robert would eventually become the first King of Scotland following the occupation of Edward I. King Robert I is most famous for his impressive victory at the Battle of Bannockburn (contrary to popular belief, nothing to do with burning his trousers or 'bannocks') in 1314. Quite mis-portrayed in the feature film 'Braveheart' as a weasely coward, in reality Robert the Bruce was a formidable warrior and great leader of men. On the first day of Bannockburn he entered into a duel with an enemy lieutenant by the name of Henry de Bohun mounted on a small palfrey, wearing no armour and carrying only his favourite battleaxe, compared to de Bohun who was riding his warhorse, wearing full battle armour and wielding a lance. De Bohun charged at Bruce, who waited until the last second before gracefully manoeuvring the horse out of the way, standing up in his stirrups and swinging his axe at de Bohun's head with enough force to cleave his head and helmet clean in two and shatter the axe's handle. When asked later about the enormous risk the King had taken in such a bout, Bruce thought nothing of it save that he expressed remorse over breaking the handle of his favourite axe. |
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