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What is Mitch Hedberg?
The beest fuckin comedian.Everyone loves him....including trevor lowden
Trevor Lowden loves mitch hedberg...so d MEE MEE MEE MEE MEE MEE
Mitch Hedberg - video
Mitch Hedberg - what is it?
One of the funniest commedians EVER, matched only by Dane Cook. Died tragically in late March by a combination of drug abuse and a life-long heart problem... :(
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."
This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to hard.
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".
My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
If I was a locksmith, I'd be pimping that out man. I'll trade you a free key duplication for...(laughs) That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending.
I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."
I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away...
My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.
I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.
My lucky number is 4 billion, that doesn't come in real handy when your gambling. I'm gonna need some more dice, 4 billion divided by 6, at least.
What does "Mitch Hedberg" mean?
funny ass comedian.dak sunglasses are always present on his face.
some of his brilliannce:
i dont have a girlfriend, i just know a girl that will get really mad if i say that.
cucumbers are pickles that sold out.
a woman asked me where i see myself in five years,i said "celebratin the fifth year anniversary, of you askin me that question!"
Mitch Hedberg - what does it mean?
Probably one of the funniest comedians to ever stand on a stage and hold a microphone. His comedy was all over the place, had no real story line to it, but always made you laugh. Sadly though, Mitch died in 2005 of a heart complication.
Hopefully he's making funnies for God, Jesus, and all those bigshots up on the big stage in the sky. This deffinition is dedicated to you Mitch! You rock my socks!....Totally.
R.I.P. Mitch
Some infamous quotes from Mitch Hedberg::
"Some hotels don't have 13th floors because of supersticion...But people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. Jump out the window of the 13th floor and you will die earlier."
"Rice is great if you want 2000 of something."
"It dosn't matter whether you're black, white, green, or purple...oh wait - green or purple? I think we have to draw the line somewhere. So the hell with purple people...Unless they're choking...then help 'em!"
Mitch Hedberg - meaning
A comedian with the most off beat, hilarious sense of humour ever heard to man. Created a cult-like following of loyal subjects that wish they were half as funny as his dog. Tragically, Mitch departed this world in late March 2005, leaving us only with fond memories and this lesson learned:
1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
"I was sitting at a bar, and no one was talking to me cuz I had just did a show *Crowd laughs*, and this guy bumped into me, and he didn't apologize, he just said, 'Move!' which I thought was rude, so I said, 'Go to hell,' and then I started to run. He caught up with me. He had a moustache, a goatee, earrings, a pair of sunglasses, his hair was in a pony tail, and he was wearing a hat. He said, 'Hey! You got a lot of nerve!' I said, 'Hey, you've got a lot of............cranium accesories!" *Everyone laughs. Mitch laughs* Ha, this a smart crowd. When I play the dumb crowds I have to say, 'You've got a lot of shit on your head!'"
Mitch Hedberg - definition
A american comedian.
02/24/1968–03/30/2005
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus... one of those two doesn't sound right."--Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg - slang
A comedian who happened to be the funniest person ever to walk the earth. Died earlier this year...and the world has been unfunny ever since. He was about to to a special on HBO that would have been fuckin' awesome...but now...it will never happen. Go figure...everyone who ever does something good for the world dies before they hit 30.
"I got a ant farm...them little bastards didn't grow shit." ~Mitch Hedberg~
Mitch Hedberg
- Dogs are forever in the push up position.
- I cant wear turtlenecks, it's like being strangeld by a really weak guy, all fucking day. When I wear a turtleneck and a backpack, i think a weak midget is trying to take me down.
Mitch Hedberg
The best comedian who ever lived. He sadly died at a young age due to a continuous heart problem. Give respect people, and quote whenever necessary.
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up!
Mitch Hedberg
Seeing Mitch perform live (about a year before he died) was the best moment of my life. All of you are right: He's the funniest person that ever lived, and the world is much less funny without him.
Mitch Hedberg -isms:
"Escalators are good, cuz they can never break. They just become stairs."
"I find that a duck's opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread."
"I saw a human pyramid once. It was so unnecessary."
"I wish there was such a thing as cinnamon roll incense, because I would light some up in the morning and give my roommate false hope."