Standard method of departing a Minnesotan social event or interaction. After a person announces he or she is leaving, person and host proceed to talk for 30 - 60 more minutes in the doorway or parking lot before leaving. Length of time between announcement of departure and actual exit is directly proportional to length of the relationship and inversely proportional to the outdoor air temperature.
Lars: "Well we better head out, great party, though. Awesome beer."
Sven: "Oh fer sure, the beer was home brewed, donchaknow."
*Lars and Sven stand in Erik's foyer and go on a tangent about microbrews for an hour.
OMG, Becky! How was last night?
Wow. I canβt even begin to describe it. I literally thought I would never stop orgasming. Phoenix is so good at giving head Well yeah, he is Minnesotan.
* You support the preservation of forests, farmland and wetlands because that's where you hunt deer, pheasants and geese.
* You think it's best to eat Jell-O after it's molded.
* You consider Lime Jell-O a highly versatile food: a breakfast dish when it is filled with fruit, a salad when it has shredded carrots and dab of mayonnaise, and a dessert when topped with dream whip.
* You voted for Mondale.
* You never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of the dialogue.
* Your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans "winter carnival".
* You always believed that vacation meant "going up north"
* Your bank has the name of your town included in its name.
* Your town has an annual festival honoring a fruit, vegetable ethnic food.
* You know where the "iron range" is.
* The temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer.
* You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire East Coast.
* You understand, and can explain, illegal defense, the infield fly rule, and icing.
* The first time you saw "Grumpy Old Men" you thought it was a documentary.
* You think that "UFF DA" is a Standard English phrase.
* Your favorite sport when it's cold outside is played where it's cold inside.
* You can recite, from memory, more than a half-dozen "Ole and Lena"jokes.
* You know people named Ole and Lena.
* You thank God every morning for not making you an Iowan.
* You believe that bitter cold, a slippery surface, and speed go together in a sport and on the Interstate freeway.
* You hear that the stock market is up and you think the price of hogs has gained 50 cents per hundred in weight.
* You think of SPAM as a quality, all-purpose meat product whether served with eggs for breakfast, in a sandwich at noontime, or in a hot-dish for supper.
* Every time you see moonlight on a lake you think of a dancing bear, and sing, gently, "From the land of sky-blue water, Hamm's, the beer refreshing. Hamm's, the beer refreshing."
* You remember the thrill of going to the top of the Foshay Tower.
* Your dog dies, your spouse leaves you, you lose your job, and your car breaks down, all on the same day, and the first thought that comes to your mind is, "It could be worse."
Sadly, though this is meant to be humorous, a significant portion of this list applies to me and thousands of other Minnesotans.
Minnesotans are a race that were led to America by Eric the Red. They are tall, fair-haired and pale skinned humans from Scandinavia who are known for their incredible resistance to cold and even magical frost. They are enthusiastic warriors, and act as soldiers, mercenaries, merchants and blacksmiths all over North America.