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What is Management?
The career goal of every employee too useless or lazy to do any REAL work
Vic Barron thinks that if he blows enough managers, they might eventually make him a manager too.
Management - meme gif
Management - video
Management - what is it?
manager: i know you told me all this work is impossible to get done in time, but get it done. i'll go do some useless paperwork.
employee: but...
manager: you're fired. now get back to work.
What does "Management" mean?
Karen: I want to speak to the manager!
Management - what does it mean?
Someone too incompetent to do any real work but who now has the authority to fuck up the work of those who aren't
Management - meaning
The guy wearing clean clothes who has very soft, smooth hands and a slick haircut and tells you to get the hell home before you get any overtime. The company's representative who is responsible for harassing, intimidating, disciplining and strong-arming employees in the name of better business practices. The cocky, overblown prick whose desk at work is stacked higher with grievance papers than his desk at home is piled high with overdue car and mortgage payments. That smarmy cocksucker in the VIP lounge at the club who orders bottles of top shelf vodka for the underage rich girls he picks up nightly at the strip joint. A man whose insecurities and self-doubts provide ample fuel for his currupt machinations in the workplace. The blue nosed white collared red cheeked scum-of-the-earth driveshaft of america's sputtering corporate engine. Collectively, managers are the scum that rises to the top of the pond in which we all must daily swim, and the company's ethics hotline is the vast barge that pushes this slime to shore to be beached and shriveled in the white-hot scorching sun of accountability.
Manager Jimbob had to change his underwear after I whipped out my contract book and asked him if he was harassing me. His panic sweat reeked of booze and almonds.
Management - definition
A person who appears to know how all tasks should be accomplished but can't actually do any of those tasks themselves.
A manager will tell you exactly how something should be done, even though he or she has never done it themselves.
Management - slang
The poor guy that always has to deal with Karen.
The manager will tell you the same thing the employee told you Karen...
Management
Telling employees that they really are not understaffed by using "numbers" when we all know that numbers can tell whatever story you wish to tell, truth and fallacy. Directing you to the REAL definition of "Management" which Merriam Webster does not agree.
Management: We crunched the numbers and you really don't need that many staff--how can you disagree with the numbers? Just because we had 6 people before, had added .5, and now have just doesn't mean you need that many!
Management
A medical condition - and the professional field opened upon contraction - which nullifies or in severe cases reverses the normal causative effects of gaining skill in an area as experience with that area also grows, as well as inverting the pay-to-productivity ratio.
Bob got management and within 6 months had forgotten everything he had learned in his 10 years as a developer. He can't write a line of code anymore, but now he makes twice as much as he did before!
Management
The institution of watching without working, usually accompanied with a significantly higher salary.
Person 1: "Did anyone else notice the guy sleeping in the crew room earlier?"
Person 2: "No, man, he's with management."