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What is Frankie Lagana?
Frankie is the most mystical and enchanting animate being. Not only is he the founder of HBW and carrier of the majestic liquid, but he is also a lover to four wives. Frankie's hair smells like butterflies as it flows in the valiant wind. As the air brushes through his chocolate locks of honey, I Think I Wanna Marry You by Bruno Mars graces the ears which are around him. His eyes glisten in the sunlight as though a mother goose has just reunited with her young. His gluten-free breath smells as though heaven and Krispy Kreme baby angel donuts kissed. His luscious lips ravish my soul making me desire to run into the woods and dance around a fire as I chant his piercing name. As I gaze upon the greek godlike figure that is Frankie, these are the words that pour from the deepest depths of my heart, "To thee Frankie, I saw a daisy in the middle of the field yesterday. It was bright with many colors. It reminded us of you, Frankie. We stomped on it for hours and hours. We jumped on it until it was no more." And these are the words which are known to man, but yet there is more, "wE lIkE yOu FrAnKiE. We always will."
Brooke: Who is that man of mystery over there?
Momo: Who else.
Fazer and Haven in unison: He is none other than our Frankie Lagana