|
|
What is Florida?
As a 6th Generation Floridian, I think I am pretty qualified to describe this state. I get pissed off when I hear a lot of the misconceptions about our state, especially from people who live here that think they know what they are talking about but, in actuality, have no clue!
Florida has no distinctive seasonal changes- It's either kind of cold, warm, or hot. Kind of cold is usually at 4am in the morning before the sun rises in the middle of January.
True Floridians know how to drive, tourists (Snowbirds) and immigrants have no fucking clue. They drive around staring at the pretty fucking clouds more than they stare at the road and pay attention to what they're doing. I have seen this happen time and time again.
We have cowboys- actual cowboys! Like the ones you see in Texas- they live in the middle of the state though mostly, away from the beaches and the "City life" as they like to put it.
It's not always sunny in Florida- Actually during the summer it is always raining. We are not in some mecca where the weather is always perfect.
Only people who are not from Florida freak out over hurricanes. We have plenty of warning people- It's not going to magically hit us overnight, so quit fucking freaking out and acting like the world is going to end 2 weeks before it hits.
Most of the Spanish people in this state are Republicans, so quit blaiming it all on the rednecks.
We have a lot of beautiful women but we also have a lot of ugly ones too.
Most of the good looking men are either gay or married.
Hog meat is plenty and bountiful and oh so scrumtious. If you don't like animal killers, don't move here.
The deer in S. Fla are very small and not worth hunting for. If you want good hunting go to GA.
Flip flops are considered shoes down here.
The roads suck- There is always some type of construction going on, though it's never quite clear for what. And it never ends.
There's not only Palm Trees people.
Most people in FL are not originally from Florida, so quit blaiming us for the stupid things that happen here. Blaim New Jersey, New York, and all the other Union states these people move from.
If you don't have AC in your vehicle you are shit out of luck.
The more south you go, the more you want to kill yourself.
True Floridians like to do outdoors activities and get fucked up, not just go to clubs and get fucked up.
Don't go swimming in Lake Okeehcobee or the gators will rip your arm off like they did that one idiot kid from Okeechobee.
Speaking of, gator hunting is a fun hobby, but if you don't know what you're doing, don't attempt it.
Most stupid things that happened in our state happen in others states as well. Enough said.
We don't visit Walt Disney everyday. That shit is for tourists from England mostly.
If you don't know what an airboat is, you ain't from here.
The schools aren't that bad.
Home Insurance is way too high in south florida.
There are too many gated communities in the suburbs. They act like they're in the fucking ghetto for Chrissakes.
We don't go to the beach everyday.
Ain't and ya'll are used everyday by true Floridians, get over it. Quit telling us those words aren't in the dictionary because we don't give a fuck!
We don't like tourists, we like their money.
If you want good drugs, such as marijuana or cocaine, Carol City has plenty. Enter at your own risk.
They're not roaches people, they're palmetto bugs. Roaches don't fly.
We have lots and lots of old people who love to call the cops. Fair warning.
If you don't like Florida, which most Yankees don't (i.e. "It's too fuckin hawt", "There's too much twaffic", "Damn rednecks", etc.) I-95 will take you right back where you came from! Have fun on the way back North!!!!
There is more I could say but I'll leave it to that. You can figure the rest out if you ever move down here (Which most of you probably will unfortunately.)
Florida- It is what it is!
Florida - meme gif
Florida - video
Florida - what is it?
The 27th state admitted to the United States. Florida is a haven for predatory scammers, prostitutes, white trash, businesses predicated on dismal customer service, and people fleeing something (bad marriage, debtor's prison, organized crime, etc.). The economy of Florida is based on attracting outside people oblivious of these realities or well-to-do GLBT individuals to see post-teen so-called "performers" dressed in anthropomorphic costumes, relive the fantasy childhood they never had, and to visit nearly-abandoned beachfront communities (see: economic collapse). The state appears to be split into three distinct areas: South Florida, a largely Hispanic and New York polyglot; Central Florida, a region with no discernable product or industry where people who cannot afford South Florida live; and the Panhandle, which is more like Southern Alabama. These factors are offset by beautiful weather, exotic flora and fauna, and scantily clad women (see: prostitutes and white trash). Much of the former aerospace program existed in Florida.
Sammy: "Yo, I'm moving to Florida!"
Tony: "Who you running away from?"
What does "Florida" mean?
The Old go there to die, the Young go there to ride rollercoasters.
- You going to Florida soon Ben?
- Nah, not in the mood to die or go to the amusement park.
- Movies then?
- OK
Florida - what does it mean?
Florida: The state for the newly-wed and the nearly-dead.
AKA: God's waiting room.
Florida - meaning
Say what you want about Florida's psuedo-southern status and education system, but just remember: We have Harry Potter world.
Jim, you went to Florida instead of Puerto Rico for Spring Break. I can't be seen with you.
Does Puerto Rico have butterbeer? I have no shame.
Florida - definition
State that is constantly called out in weird news reports. Most likely caused by people reinforcing their stereotypes of the state.
Where's our wacky Florida news?
-We're still looking.
In other news, where else but Florida; man dresses as alligator for court appearance only to.....
Florida - slang
Florida can be divided into two distinct regions: north Florida and south Florida. North Florida has a more "Deep South" feel, while in south Florida, it seems that everyone is from New York, is Jewish, is Hispanic, or any combination of these. The person before who said that north florida has all the old people must be living under a rock. You can't go on any road in SoFlo where there isn't some old geezer in a Buick driving 15 mph and holding up traffic
North Florida resident: My name's Billy Bob and I enjoy huntin, fishin, n muddin. South Florida resident: My name is Jonah Goldstein and I enjoy playing golf, shuffleboard, and bingo.
Florida
An old Spanish word for 'FUCK SNOW'.
Dude, fuck snow. I'm moving to Florida.
Florida
A punching bag for hurricanes.
Florida: "Hurricane? Headed our way? Shit, not again."
Florida
Florida is a state in the southeastern most part of the US. Its known for its beaches, crime, and smelly old people.
Most people say Florida only has one season, which is ridiculous, for Florida has many seasons! There's tourist, hurricane, swimsuit, rainy, college(aka: Spring break) and snow bird season!
If you're on the gulf, the best time to go to the beach is November. By far the worst time is College season, which seems to be nothing more than all the college's in the country collaborating against us poor locals, sending wave after wave of their craziest 'students' to come tear up our beaches, jam up our roads, and cause a number of drunk-driving accidents over the course of 5-6 weeks.
As for the old people. There are lots of them. There are tons and tons, MASSES. The dominate every aspect of life, most respectable neighborhoods are built to accommodate those them. My neighborhood recreational center? The golf center.
Driving in Florida is not dangerous, its FUN. Stop signs? Who needs them! Turning signals? They're for pussies! And speed limits? PSH! If your 60 or older, you drive at least 20 miles under the speed limit, if your 25 and younger, you drive 20 miles OVER the speed limit, and if you're a tourist you drive however slowly or quickly it takes for you to get that picture of the pelican shitting.
A nice place to live sometimes, but a better place to just visit.
Florida's weather is also extremely bipolar. Just today, it had been ultra-warm and foggy with no sun to be seen like it had been for the last 3 days. Then, while sitting outside for lunch, suddenly the sun came out and all the clouds dissipated at once, lifting the fog and leaving the wind free to make us cold. Now, only 3 hours later, its sunny and chilly.