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What is Baptist?
Part of a Christian movement relating to protestant Christianity. Baptist emphasise Believers Baptism, ie accepting God as saviour and Lord and being dunked in a pool of water in front of hundreds of people. In the late 1990s, there were about 43 million Baptists worldwide with about 33 million in the United States.
Baptists often form working groups, ie Southern Baptist Alliance, to support each other. There is also a Baptist World Alliance which is chaired by Rev. David Coffey
He is part of the Baptist family
Baptist - meme gif
Baptist - video
Baptist - what is it?
The reason I have to drive 30 miles to buy liquor. Also the reason I can't buy liquor on Sundays.
I'd love to live in a city not run by Baptists so that I don't have to drive to the ghetto to buy liquor.
What does "Baptist" mean?
a Baptiste is someone who is very caring, kind and loving, but quite closed at the same time. Normally good boyfriends. This type of person is also renowned in bed and is an amazing catch.
The male version of an Elinor.
my boyfriend is such a Baptiste, i swear it's amazing
Baptist - what does it mean?
Adjective for someone who "doesn't drink" and "doesn't have sex" but gets wasted on fireball and takes it up the ass
Girl A: I thought she was baptist
Girl B: Obviously... can't you tell by the cinnamon on her breath and the scabs on her knees
Baptist - meaning
The reason I am still in the closet.
"Are you out of the closet?"
"No, my family is Baptist and drag me to church 2 times a week."
"Oof."
Baptist - definition
Baptist is a denomination of Christianity (sometimes called Protestant) that rejects infant Baptism. They practice Believer's Baptism through immersion. A Believer is someone who has accepted and believes that Jesus Christ is their personal savior who died to atone for their sins. Baptists believe in The Trinity. The Trinity means there is one God made up of 3 different beings who are the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Pentecostal: Why don't you dance in church?
Baptist: Because I'm a Baptist.
Methodist: My preacher's gay. We believe that gay people can be preachers too.
Baptist: Your preacher will go to Hell is he doesn't repent of his sin and accept Christ.
Guy: What bible do you read?
Baptist: KJV
Baptist - slang
something thats not catholic; synonomous with high divorce rates, jerry falwell (with his mother in the outhouse) and mainly hypocritical, holier than thou bullshit. see every religion tries to prove its better...in the end catholocism wins by a billion and a half so you baptists can go to hell, which is where your goin when jesus bitch slaps you down to satan...you know what, ill do it, your not worty of jesus' hand...i offically call dibs on the baptist bitch-slaper to hell guy
Jesus: i see your here for the profesional Bitch Slaping Baptist job?
Me: Yes.
Jesus: Why Should i Hire You?
Me: Because you dont have to get your hands dirty in southern redneck inbreds whose lives center around being punished to hell, so i figured id give them what they want
Jesus: I Like your Style, Lets See How Well You do, how does tuesday sound?
Me: No Problem
Jesus: Ok From Now on You are now my Pimphand Bitchslapper...if they ask, tell 'em J hired you and give them a ton of hope that they'll get into heaven, then bitchslap them into satans asshole...
me: Sounds Good
Jesus: Peace, im going to go with peter to bless some kids or some shit like that
me: see u around...
2. " did not have sex with my mother in an outhouse...it was my father"-Jerry Falwell
Baptist
People that might learn the bible but don't know anything behind it.
Cathilics are all knowing because they learn everything behind the bible.
Baptists know the Bible, that's it.
Baptist
A variation of the Christian religion, it is common in the United States in an area known as the Bible Belt, which covers all of the Deep South. Baptists claim that they are the original church, started by John the Baptist, but this is untrue. The Baptist religion, like all other variations of Christianity, exists only because of Martin Luther, who instituted the much needed Reformation during a time of great corruption in the Catholic Church.
Baptists beleive that heaven is reached through, of course, baptism, and deep faith in Jesus Christ. They are know for their aggressive recruiting of new followers and almost militant approach to people who challenge their beleifs or do not fit their ideals. They are almost competitive with other religions in their attempts to gain followers.
Their Churches are usually large and impressive, and the bigger ones are well funded, or privately owned.
Baptist children will ask you if you beleive in Jesus Christ, and may tell you that you are going to Hell if you say no. They tend to completely accept their parents opinions without question.
And discussion with a Baptist about religion will most likely turn into an arguement about the fate of your soul, who will probably be heading downstairs, in their opinion.
Baptists also tend to make a great fuss about such topics as birth control, abortion, war, and the death penalty. They usually refuse to hear anyone else's veiwpoint on these issues and will frequently use the name of God to justify their ignorant opinions. They tend to be hypocritical on these issues and become flustered when proven wrong.
Baptist: Accept Jesus into your heart as your savior!!
Some Guy: Bitch, I'm Catholic.
Baptist: Let's bomb an abortion clinic and then go kill those heretics in Iraq!
Some Guy: Whatever happened to 'Thou shalt not kill?'
Baptist: Let's pass a law against birth control and abortion!
Some Girl: So... what are you gonna do if you daughter gets pregnant?
Baptist: Oh, well, we'll have the doctor take care of it.
Some Girl: That's not gonna happen if birht control is ILLEGAL. Idiot.
Baptist: ... You're going to hell.
Baptist
A member of one of several hundred Christian denominations who all agree that the the Bible is the literal word of God, but don't agree with each other. See fundamentalist, fucktard
Q. What religion are you, Reformed Baptist?
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.