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What is Aikido?
Corporate Aikido is the art of redirecting people who need help, instead of saying no, so you can get back to Minesweeper or, these days, Reddit. You use their energy against them, sending them off to accounting, answering their questions with a request for more information, etc. Corporate Aikido techniques and throws are best practiced in conference calls and meetings, where the unskilled opponent will appear to all to be combative and aggressive if he or she shows the slightest resistance to the Corporate Aikido movements.
How to use Corporate Aikido, by designbydave: "Yes, I am almost 100% sure what is wrong with your laptop, but I want you to go back and get more information for me, retrieve the appropriate power cables, software install discs etc so I don't have to work on it right this second, I'm currently reading a fascinating, 10 page article about a feral child that I found on reddit."
Aikido - meme gif
Aikido - video
Aikido - what is it?
One of Steven Seagal's earliest porno movies from the 80s. In fact, it was so successful within the Japanese community that it became a series.
In the original "Aikido in a Speedo", Steven Seagal plays a womanizing aikido master who strolls around Tokyo in just a speedo during the hot summer days.
He stars in about half of the sex scenes where he costars with several Japanese girls. Only wearing his speedo, he disco dances in front of them with techno in the background as he shakes his arms up and down. Some scenes actually have him with pig tails too as opposed to just this ponytail.
After he fucks all the Japanese hos in the scene, he uses his Aikido to beat them up which later leads to him snapping their necks.
The end of the porno shows Steven Seagal wearing a black leather speedo sprinting through the streets of Tokyo at a speed of fucking FIFTY miles an hour while yelling out "AIIIIKIIIIIDO IN A SPEEDO!!!!" and also karate chopping little Japanese boys that get in his way while he keep his usual constipated face.
There have been at least 5 Aikido in a Speedo movies, and even a video game was made insipired by Grand Theft Auto - that is, Grand Theft Tokyo: Aikido in a Speedo.
-Holy crap what's that gay guy with the ponytail doing sprinting down the streets of Tokyo at 50 miles an hour while yelling "AIKIDO IN A SPEEDO!!!!!"?
-He's just filming his latest porno, Aikido in a Speedo
What does "Aikido" mean?
Sometimes known as Venusian Karate.
The (fictional) Martial Art practiced by the third Doctor (portrayed by John Pertwee).
The martial art itself involves pure pwnage that can be applied to any situation. It is likely based around real world Aikido along with some Karate bits thrown in for good measure.
If you've ever watched the third Doctor unleash his martial arts skills and thought "OMFG! That was AWESOME!", the art is called Venusian Aikido.
The third Doctor was a prominent user of Venusian Aikido.
Aikido - what does it mean?
AI-KI-DO
1. Noun: a Japanese martial art, created by Morihei Ueshiba. Translated as "he way of harmonious spirit" or as "way of adapting the spirit". Focuses on armlocks and throws, often combining the two.
2. Verb: to beat someone thoroughly, usually through physical means in sports or figthing.
1. I take aikido classes at the mall.
2. Aikido his ass!
Aikido - meaning
The (martial) art of becoming one with the ground by being thrown onto it with increasing force.
or
The way of life through harmony with the universal force.
Jim Lahue is a wonderful aikido instructor.
Aikido - definition
A Japanese martial art started by Morihei Ueshiba. It is for self defense and can be translated as "the art of peace". This is not necessarily true. During WWII the allies invaded Japan and outlawed the practicing of any sort of military training. The ingenious teachers changed the fighting style to make it seem passive, allowing them to continue to teach and practice aikido. If you take it in a dojo they will teach you the soft version. However, their are still movies that will show you the darker side of this martial art. Even without being shown you can see that every move can be turned into a deadly retailation. Now a days they teach throws and how to basically drop you opponent/pin him/her into submission. It is still very painful and effective but can be deadly if you know what you are doing. Every grab or move can be adjusted to break the neck of your opponent or cause crippling/fatal damage.
Aikido is the most dangerous martial art out there. True masters are impossible to hit and the legendary Ueshiba was rumored to have been able to dodge bullets. Read about him or attend a seminar in a local dojo. You will think people are faking falling and such but if you try yourself you will see that they aren't.
Aikido - slang
Tristan Tate
London is a failed society
double Armani aikido
hydration aikido
Red Bull aikido
Domino's aikido
Aikido
Aikido, a modern Japanese martial art (or correct: a martial way = “budo”), is a surrogate or synthesis of ancient budo schools where martial skills (bujutsu) and warfare (heiho) as well as spiritual exercises were taught to the Japanese warriors (samurai). In its unique approach, aikido hands down the essence of Japanese war culture and samurai tradition (bushido). Aikido is still a martial way of training and developing body, mind and spirit, it is still true budo but without being an anachronism to our modern day world. So, the ancient budo principles, methods, and strategies are no longer used to prepare for the medieval battlefields but for self-defense situations, they are no longer methods of warfare but of conflict resolution. Based on its ethical basis, aikido teaches appropriate and peaceful answers to violence and conflict in modern societies.
Aikido
A useless martial art where nobody actually spars when practicing and as a result everyone who does it gets their shit kicked in when they get in s real fight. Even if they did spar they would still get beaten into a pulp cause aikido moves are useless.
I've been doing aikido to see what it's like to get my ass beat by 8 year olds.
Aikido
Ai, harmony. ki, spirit or energy. do, the path or the way. Aikido is the way of harmonizing the spirit. Aikido developed in the 1920s and 1930s as a synthesis of jujitsu, sword-, and spear-fighting. The founder, Morihei Ueshiba (1883-1969), combined the joint locks and throws of jujitsu with the body movements of sword- and spear-fighting. He ultimately settled on the name Aikido in 1942 to stress the deeper spirital foundation of the discipline. Ueshiba was a follower of new Japanese religion called Omotokyo, which mixes neo-Shintoism with socio-political idealism to create a harmonious "heavenly kingdom on earth." While this specific religious aspect does not influence Aikido as practiced by most Aikidoka, there at least two fundemental tenents: (1) a commitment to peaceful resolution of conflict whenever possible and (2) a commitment to self-improvement through aikido training.
The techniques of Aikido are circular in nature, and are not designed to stop attacks or to conflict with them. Instead, aggressive motions are converted into circular movements that render attackers helpless. Aikido techniques allow the attacker's movements to continue and complete themselves naturally, so that the attack is diverted and redirected harmlessly. The Aikidoist is trained not to cripple, but to apply various wrist and joint locks, pins, and unbalancing throws to neutralize aggressors without serious injury to either the aggressor or the Aikidoist. The movements are like the motions of a sphere which rolls effortlessly along, joining mind and body.